Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) attend their first day at high school and they're pumped... until they meet up with Filkins (Alex Frost), a school bully who comes off like a little Hannibal Lecter.

Before they become completely engulfed in Filkins' reign of terror, they seek out some protection by placing an ad in the Soldier of Fortune magazine. Their best response - and the cheapest - comes from Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), a down-on-his luck soldier of fortune who lives a homeless - he likes to say 'home-free' - existence on the beach.