I swear to god, if I hear ONE MORE ice-related one liner I will not be held responsible for my actions.
Batman And Robin
on DVD
(1997) Starring:George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman Director:Joel Schumacher Certificate:
The Caped Crusader returns to battle the abominable Mr. Freeze and green-thumbed Poison Ivy. To save his ailing wife, Dr. Victor Fries turns to a life of crime after a hideous accident makes him unable to tolerate even moderate temperatures, while Dr. Pamela Isley falls victim to mutated plant DNA ..read more »
The first one was good. So for the sequel, they decided to make up a completely different story with a ridiculous plot, which discounted everything that happened in the first movie. Because that makes sense, doesn't it? Aaaaaaaarrrg.
Highlander 2
on DVD
(1991) Starring:Sean Connery, Christopher Lambert, Virginia Madsen Director:Russell Mulcahy Certificate:
In this labyrinthine sequel, the Immortal MacLeod saves the people of Earth from immanent ozone layer-related destruction by building a shield that deflects sunlight. But the people of Earth aren't especially grateful, as the constant state of night has made them cranky and prone to criminal sprees...read more »
Dear Clive Owen. Please please please invest in some acting lessons. Or perhaps ask one of your co-stars to poke you in the back every now and again, as this might cause your facial expression to alter slightly from the usual emotionless blank void. It would be a start, at least. Yours sincerely...
King Arthur
on DVD
(2004) Starring:Clive Owen, Ioan Gruffudd, Keira Knightley Director:Antoine Fuqua Certificate:
Combining the historical appeal and epic sequences of films like GLADIATOR and BRAVEHEART, director Antoine Fuqua (TRAINING DAY) and producer Jerry Bruckheimer provide a sleek twist on the King Arthur legend. Arthur (Clive Owen), a brave Roman/British Christian warrior who leads his band of pagan ..read more »
Starship Troopers
on DVD
(1997) Starring:Casper Van Dien, Denise Richards, Dina Meyer Director:Paul Verhoeven Certificate:
Some time in the future, a group of friends joins Earth's military forces after high school graduation to battle the insectoid Klendathu. One fights for the chance to be a renowned pilot (Denise Richards), one for revenge (Casper Van Dien), and one for the love of a good man (Dina Meyer), but ..read more »
Holy waste of celluloid, Batman. I think this one might actually be worse than 'Batman & Robin'. Yes. It IS that awful.
Shopping
on DVD
(1993) Starring:Sadie Frost, Jude Law, Sean Pertwee Director:Paul W.S. Anderson Certificate:
Writer/Director Paul Anderson (MORTAL KOMBAT) has created this dark, hip, urban story of a barren and anonymous city where the homeless underclass' sport of choice is ram-raiding. An exciting game in which stolen cars are driven through shop windows to aid large-scale looting before the police ..read more »
I know! Let's make another Terminator sequel! But let's make it different! Like, let's have a WOMAN terminator! What? What plot? Just put her in red spandex - that's what Terminator fans really want! Yeah!
Terminator 3 - Rise Of The Machines
on DVD
(2003) Starring:Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes Director:Jonathon Mostow Certificate:
Returning for a third bout of cyborg time travelling, Arnold Schwarzenegger reprises his good-robot role from TERMINATOR 2, once again travelling back from the future to protect future human resistance leader John Connor (played this time around by Nick Stahl). We soon discover that Connor has ..read more »
Troy
on DVD
(2004) Starring:Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean Director:Wolfgang Petersen Certificate:
With soaring photography that circles from above then swoops in for the action, TROY is Wolfgang Petersen's majestic presentation of the classic Greek legend. It tells the story of an epic battle over Helen (Diane Kruger), the queen of Sparta, who is kidnapped by her lover Paris (Orlando Bloom), ..read more »
I love the Trek movies 2 to 6. I have tried to watch this one several times. I WANT to like it. But I just can't stand the feeling of my brain melting out of my ears with boredom.
Star Trek 1 - The Motion Picture
on DVD
(1979) Starring:William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Persis Khambatta Director:Robert Wise Certificate:
In STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE, the original crew of the Starship Enterprise from the campy 1960s TV show is reunited in this dramatic, full-length science fiction epic. Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner), formerly a captain, is called upon to collect his old crewmates in order to save ..read more »
Boo
on DVD
(2005) Starring:Trish Coren, Rachel Harland, Jilon Ghai Director:Anthony C. Ferrante Certificate:
Roped into spending Halloween in an abandoned hospital by her friends, Jessie Holden (Trish Coren) finds herself at the mercy of her prank-loving boyfriend Kevin (Jilon Ghai) who's planned a few surprises. What none of them realise, however, is that the creepy hospital has some scares of its own in ..read more »
Watch Event Horizon instead. You will find that they are much the same, only Event Horizon at least has the advantage of being amusingly terrible. This is just mind-numbingly dull.
Sunshine
on DVD
(2006) Starring:Rose Byrne, Cliff Curtis, Chris Evans Director:Danny Boyle Certificate:
It is the year 2057, the Sun is dying and mankind faces extinction. Earth’s last hope lies with the Icarus II, a spacecraft with a crew of eight men and women led by Captain Kaneda. Their mission: to deliver a nuclear device designed to reignite our fading sun. Deep into their voyage, out of radio ..read more »