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Jaws 4 - The Revenge

My all time worse cinematic release ever. Hollywood couldn't kill off ol' Jaws while he had dollars still stuffed in him and so the franchise rumbled on ( or should I say drifted?). In this sordid celluloid hotchpotch a member of the Jaws 'family' is determined to get revenge on the Brody clan, and Micheal Caine for good measure simply for showing up in the same film. This is worth a watch just for the amusement value. Make sure your Television is insured first as it may attempt to kill itself when this rolls across the screen.
  • Jaws 4 - The Revenge on DVD (1987)
    Starring: Mario Van Peebles,  Lorraine Gary,  Michael Caine
    Director: Joseph Sargent
    Certificate: Certificate: 12
    Ellen Brody (Lorraine Gary) takes her family to the Bahamas after one of her sons is killed by a Great White shark. The fearsome beast tracks them down, however, as it pursues what appears to be a personal vendetta against them. Michael Caine plays the renegade pilot who helps the family ward off ..read more »
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    • 40
    • from 3876 members

Supergirl

Superman is on a mission in deepest space and so into his redboots steps his cousin? Sounds plausible? No? That's because it isn't. A Macbeth parody here with super powered witches plotting supergirl's demise. This film is truley terrible.
  • Supergirl on DVD (1984)
    Starring: Peter Cook,  Peter O'Toole,  Faye Dunaway
    Director: Jeannot Szwarc
    Certificate: Certificate: PG
    Adventure starring Helen Slater. On a desperate mission to save Planet Earth, Supergirl (Slater), must retrieve a missing life-giving power source to save her home city from total destruction. Startled by her own amazing Superpowers, Supergirl traces the lost Omegahedron only to discover that it ..read more »
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    • 60
    • from 1958 members

Bridget Jones - The Edge Of Reason

If iIever build a time machine then I'll be claiming back these two hours first. Frosty lawns and views of a mystic London skyline from a village on a hill, with a red telephone box icome into shot. We can see the dome of St.Pauls. The film is over, your girlfriend/wife is smiling. You can't get up to leave. Your eyes are fixed on the credits because somewhere inside you've retreated into some sweet, soft childhood memmory where you can be safe. You've gone into a trance in a bid to save yourself from this sickly, dull, product placement filled commercial stunt of a movie with its fake English Accents and red bus filled London that pretends to tell us abpout what it is to be a woman. Is this being made for our american friends with there paperback visions of rainy London Town? Also, how many films can Colin Firth be in playing the same partailly repressed yet part emotionally vulnerable ,softly spoken gentleman. I imagine the answer is **** loads of times.

The Wedding Date

If In Her Shoes is a good example of how good romcoms can be then this is an example of how nauseatingly terrible they often are. This one made me want to pull my back wisdom teeth out. I'm being specific as desperate measures were called for. Debra Messinger destroyed her shot at Hollywood with this miserable effort.
  • The Wedding Date on DVD (2005)
    Starring: Jack Davenport,  Jeremy Sheffield,  Peter Egan
    Director: Clare Kilner
    Certificate: Certificate: 12
    Romantic comedy starring Debra Messing as Kat, a New Yorker who is invited to her younger sister's wedding in London. But when she discovers that the best man is her ex-fiancé, she hires Nick (Dermot Mulroney), a charming professional male escort, to pose as her new boyfriend and escort her to the ..read more »
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    • 60
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Moulin Rouge

I can't bear musicals. The fact that Obi-Wan-Kenobi was in this, pimping himself out, singing his heart out with dollar signs Kidman, just broke my heart. The only thing worse would be if Barnum became a big screen musical with Harrison Ford in the starring roll. A host of women have tried to get me to watch this insisting that I'll grow to love it. read my lips honey, I DON'T LIKE MUSICALS and I don't like bad films even more.
  • Moulin Rouge on DVD (2001)
    Starring: Ewan McGregor,  Nicole Kidman,  Kylie Minogue
    Director: Baz Luhrmann
    Certificate: Certificate: 12
    Watch now: Included in all packages with LOVEFiLM Instant
    Christian, a young writer with a magical gift for poetry, defies his bourgeois father by moving to the bohemian underworld of Montmartre, Paris. He is taken in by the absinthe- soaked artist Toulouse- Lautrec, whose party- hard life centers aound the Moulin Rouge, a world of sex, drugs, electricity ..read more »
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    • 70
    • from 32,229 members

The Scorpion King

It has the rock in it. Enough said.
  • The Scorpion King on DVD (2002)
    Starring: Peter Facinelli,  Michael Clarke Duncan,  Bernard Hill
    Director: Charles Russell
    Certificate: Certificate: 15
    Wrestling superstar The Rock reprises his role as the warrior Mathayus in this movie spin-off from 'The Mummy Returns' set 5000 years ago in the Middle East. Sent on a mission to assassinate Cassandra (Kelly Hu), the powerful sorceress advisor to King Memnon (Steven Brand), Mathayus is captured and ..read more »
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    • 60
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Seven Swords

I'm a big fan of chinese sword and sorcery movies. House of Flying Daggers is just beautiful. This however, is a road accident of a film. It has been so badly edited that huge chunks of the film have been cut out in an attempt to cut its extensive original length. This however, makes it unwatchable. You do not know what is going on at all. it is impossible to invest anything in the charachters or follow the feel of the film in a coherent, absorbed way. What a mess.
  • Seven Swords on DVD (2005)
    Starring: Leon Lai,  Charlie Yeung,  Donnie Yen
    Director: Tsui Hark
    Certificate: Certificate: 15
    Watch now: Included in all packages with LOVEFiLM Instant
    Hong Kong swordfighting action, from acclaimed director Tsui Hark. In the 1600s, the Manchurians have taken over China and established their own brutal dynasty, banning the practice of martial arts. As the evil Manchu general Wind Fire (Honglei Sun) ravages the land, a group of expert swordmen, ..read more »
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    • 60
    • from 6967 members

Star Trek 7 - Generations

Captain Kirk dies on a collapsing metal bridge? Is that it. After all those years? The Social Workers in Space franchise attempts to bridge itself into Next Gen territory, linking the two series in an attempt to pass over the paramount star trek franchise baton. What a fumble and a faux pas this film turned out to be. More to the point what is whoopi Goldberg doing in Star Trek , serving behind the enterprise bar? Dreadful.
  • Star Trek 7 - Generations on DVD (1995)
    Starring: LeVar Burton,  Malcolm McDowell,  Marina Sirtis
    Director: David Carson
    Certificate: Certificate: PG
    First of the big-screen 'Star Trek' spin-offs to feature the crew of 'The Next Generation'. Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner) reluctantly comes out of retirement to attend the launch of the 'Enterprise B'. When the ship attempts to rescue two cargo ships trapped in a strange electrical field, ..read more »
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    • 70
    • from 10,443 members

Batman Forever

I often wonder if Joel Schumacher makes a pigs ear of his family home movies as well. Has the wife made a lovely film of the little one finding his feet for the first time, only for Daddy to ruin it in his attic editing booth. This guy must appear regularily in Tim Burton's nightmares. How many bad films can one moronic director make? If someone needs a book book on how to destroy a perfectly good franchise with intriguing dark charachters with a mass audience appeal then Joel should write it. Yes he made billions of dollars but then so did the American Government and no likes them do they?
  • Batman Forever on DVD (1995)
    Starring: Jim Carrey,  Pat Hingle,  Michael Gough
    Director: Joel Schumacher
    Certificate: Certificate: PG
    Watch now: Unavailable
    Director Joel Schumacher inherited the Batman franchise from Tim Burton and began steering it in the campier direction of the Sixties television show with this third installment. First-time Batman/Bruce Wayne (Val Kilmer), in his only outing as the Caped Crusader, is effectively brooding as he ..read more »
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    • 50
    • from 14,191 members

The Da Vinci Code

If you were Tom Hanks how much money woud have to be waved under your nose job before you decided to do this picture? An ocean liner full of money followed and Tom duly arived on set to join Sir Ian Mckellen in a horse shows worth of 'going through the motions' . How did this script ever get given the green light? We forgive you Tom- for Saving Private Ryan we forgive you. just don't so it again.
  • The Da Vinci Code on DVD (2006)
    Starring: Tom Hanks,  Audrey Tautou,  Ian McKellen
    Director: Ron Howard
    Certificate: Certificate: 12
    The 2005 best selling novel's big screen adaptation. A murder in the Louvre and clues in Da Vinci paintings lead to the discovery of a religious mystery protected by a secret society for two thousand years -- which could shake the foundations of Christianity.
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    • 60
    • from 77,406 members



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