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painfully bad movies (16 titles)

films to be avoided at all costs

by: Alick Meir from Crewe

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The Zombie Diaries

badly (and cheaply) made, badly acted British take on Diary of the Dead

The Zombie Diaries on DVD (2006)
Starring: Will Tosh, Sophia Ellis, Leonard Fenton
Director: Michael Bartlett, Kevin Gates
Certificate:
Watch now: Included in all packages with LOVEFiLM Instant
Edgy dark horror which taps into recent pandemic fears. A zombie-creating virus has taken hold across the world with its effects recorded by the video cameras of three separate groups of survivors. A couple fleeing London begin scavenging what they can in the devastated towns, oblivious to the ..read more »
- Rate this
- 40
- from 4531 members

I Want Candy

British attempt at an American Pie-style teen comedy, only utter garbage...

I Want Candy on DVD (2007)
Starring: David Armand, Jimmy Carr, Mackenzie Crook
Director: Stephen Surjik
Certificate:
"I Want Candy" follows two hopeful lads from Leatherhead trying to break into the movies who stumble upon the opportunity of a lifetime. Frustrated by their arty film teacher (Mackenzie Crook), wannabe producer Joe (Tom Riley) and his talented but neurotic director friend Baggy (Tom Burke) head to ..read more »
- Rate this
- 60
- from 12,916 members

Death Proof

I'm still waiting for something to happen in it...

Death Proof on DVD (2007)
Starring: Kurt Russell, Rosario Dawson, Vanessa Ferlito
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Certificate:
Two separate pairs of voluptuous women are stalked at different times by a scarred stuntman who uses his "death proof" cars to execute his murderous plans.
- Rate this
- 60
- from 31,589 members

Outlaw

poor film, and to make things worse, it's got Danny Dire (sic) in it

Outlaw on DVD (2007)
Starring: Sean Bean, Danny Dyer, Lennie James
Director: Nick Love
Certificate:
A group of people who feel betrayed by their government and let down by their police force form a modern-day outlaw posse in order to right what they see as the wrongs of society.
- Rate this
- 60
- from 25,998 members

Jason X

so far fetched, it'd insult the intelligence of even the stupidest of people

Jason X (2001)
Starring: Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig
Director: James Isaac
Certificate:
The tenth film in the 'Friday the 13th' sci-fi horror series. The year is 2455. Earth is no longer inhabitable, so humans have colonised outer space. One colony receives two cryogenically frozen bodies, and when they defrost them, one of the bodies turns out to be Jason Vorhees. No longer in the ..read more »
- Rate this
- 60
- from 1739 members
Currently unavailable

Halloween H20 - Twenty Years Later

Twenty years later, he still won't die...despite being shot, stabbed, thrown through a car window, squished by a truck against a tree, and so on...he's supposed to be a human being, when did he become immune to everything on the planet?!

Halloween H20 - Twenty Years Later on DVD (1998)
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Adam Hann-Byrd, Josh Hartnett
Director: Steve Miner
Certificate:
Watch now: Included in all packages with LOVEFiLM Instant
This seventh entry in the 'Halloween' series is also the first since 'Halloween 2' to feature Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), the sister and victim of psychopath Michael Myers. Apparently killed in a car crash, Laurie in fact faked her death so that she could adopt a new identity. She is now Keri ..read more »
- Rate this
- 60
- from 5001 members

King Kong

sleep inducing, what feels like a week-long film...really bad special effects to boot

King Kong on DVD (2005)
Starring: Jack Black, Andy Serkis, Kyle Chandler
Director: Peter Jackson
Certificate:
Epic remake of the adventure classic from acclaimed director Peter Jackson. In Depression-era New York, unscrupulous filmmaker Carl Denham (Jack Black) is desperate to find a leading lady for his new picture. After a chance encounter, naive actress Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) takes the role, and ..read more »
- Rate this
- 60
- from 87,376 members

Ultraviolet

Ultraviolet on DVD (2006)
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund
Director: Kurt Wimmer
Certificate:
Thriller set in the late 21st century. A vampire-like disease called hemophagia creates a subculture of genetically-modified humans. These humans have enhanced speed, incredible stamina and acute intelligence. As they are set apart from 'normal, healthy' humans, the world is pushed to the brink of ..read more »
- Rate this
- 50
- from 18,956 members

Solaris

Yawwwwwwnnnnn....

Solaris on DVD (2002)
Starring: George Clooney, Natascha McElhone, Jeremy Davies
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Certificate:
When psychologist Chris Kelvin is asked to investigate the unexplained behavior of a small group of scientists aboard the space station Prometheus, he is shocked by what he finds upon his arrival. Kelvin discovers that his close friend, Gibarian, the mission's commander, has committed suicide. Also,..read more »
- Rate this
- 50
- from 17,279 members

Reeker

Reeker on DVD (2006)
Starring: Michael Ironside, Devon Gummersall, Arielle Kebbel
Director: Dave Payne
Certificate:
Five students driving through the desert encounter the inescapable stench of death in director David Payne's retro-inspired slasher/monster/supernatural horror hybrid. The highway has been inexplicably closed, forcing five young travelers into a mysteriously abandoned travel oasis where they are ..read more »
- Rate this
- 50
- from 5992 members