Guessing the plot of Steven Seagal movies simply by using the title (7 titles)

The Glimmer Man

Seagal tries on some sequined panties. Likes them. Tries some eyeshadow. Likes it. Shimmies a bit. Eats some ribs

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  • our price: £5.43
• The Glimmer Man on DVD (1996)
  Starring: Steven Seagal,  Keenen Ivory Wayans,  Robert Gunton
  Director: John Gray
  Certificate:
  A string of serial killings in Los Angeles forces the LAPD to call on a specialist from New York: detective Jack Cole, who's dubbed the "Glimmer Man" because he's so fast his targets only see a glimmer of him before they're caught. Teamed up with a reluctant local cop, he uncovers a sinister ..read more »
  
  Rate this: 62% from 3,008 members

Fire Down Below

Seagal sets a personal best while eating 15kg of beef mince in one sitting. Gets severe indigestion. Takes an antacid and s88ts his own body weight. Sings a bit of reggae.

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• Fire Down Below on DVD (1997)
  Starring: Steven Seagal,  Marg Helgenberger,  Harry Dean Stanton
  Director: Felix Enriques Alcala
  Certificate:
  Action guru Seagal goes rustic as a hard-line EPA agent who brings his own brand of environmental justice to bear upon waste-dumping corporate baddies in a run-down Kentucky mining town. When not bringing villains to their knees, he befriends a band of locals and empowers them to stand up for their ..read more »
  
  Rate this: 60% from 2,352 members

Belly Of The Beast

Seagal manages to kill an entire army of ninjas whilst never being shown moving below the neck. He performs all of his own stunts with support from a hostess trolley for his gut

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• Belly Of The Beast on DVD (2003)
  Starring: Steven Seagal,  Byron Mann,  Russell Wong
  Director: Siu-Tung Ching
  Certificate:
  Soon-to-retire CIA agent Jake Hopper (Steven Seagal) is on vacation in Thailand when his daughter is kidnapped by a ruthless terrorist group. The CIA launches their own operative to retrieve her safely, but unorthodox Hopper feels the need to take the matter into his own hands.
  
  Rate this: 55% from 3,718 members

Submerged

Seagal is accidentally harpooned by the Japanese as he goes for a swim at his beachside retreat. Eats the whaling boat. And a whale. Towels off and does some really easy tai chi.

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• Submerged on DVD (2005)
  Starring: Steven Seagal,  Christine Adams,  Nick Brimble
  Director: Anthony Hickox
  Certificate:
  Chris Kody, the world's best mercenary, is freed from prison -- but there's a catch. Kody must use his lethal weapons and fighting skills to stop a group of terrorists who have taken over a nuclear sub.
  
  Rate this: 50% from 4,306 members

Shadow Man

Seagal looks out of his apartment window and stretches. Neighbouring residents believe the sun to have disappeared and revert to a feudal, Medieval existence. Seagal leaves his window, Sun comes back. Everyone re-embraces technology. Seagal takes a dump whilst eating a doughnut as big as a sofa.

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• Shadow Man on DVD
  Starring: Steven Seagal,  Vasile Albinet,  Skye Bennett
  Director: Michael Keusch
  Certificate:
  Steven Seagal stars in this pulse-pounding thriller about an ex-C.I.A operative who must unravel a lethal web of international espionage to save his daughter and stop a deadly virus from falling into enemy hands. When rogue operatives within the C.I.A. smuggle a lethal virus out of the U.S. and ..read more »
  
  Rate this: 50% from 3,212 members

On Deadly Ground

Seagal climbs a ladder while chasing some generic European criminals. He is now stuck on a roof and cannot perform any of the athletic manouvers required to catch his prey. The entire building caves in under the weight of his trembling bulk. Seagal lands on his own stomach and pops home for a snooze. And a bucket of fried lard.

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• On Deadly Ground
  Starring: Steven Seagal,  Michael Caine
  Director: Steven Seagal
  Certificate:
  Seagal is Forrest Taft, an oil rig worker who specialises in putting out fires for the giant Aegis Oil Company. When he learns that the company President Michael Jennings (Michael Caine), intends to destroy the environment and livlihoods of the local Inuit population for profit, he is determined to ..read more »
  
  Rate this: 57% from 400 members

Into The Sun

Seagal somehow winds up in space and begins to attract all of the planets in the Solar System, due to the gravity of his immense bulk. The Sun, portrayed as a European criminal mastermind, is p*ssed at this and so challenges him to a scrap. Seagal slowly flies into the sun, which burns itself out as it tries to consume his vast supply of body fat. The sun is merged with Seagal and now forms a hybrid, complete with pony tail and long leather coat

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• Into The Sun on DVD (2005)
  Starring: Steven Seagal,  Takao Osawa,  Matthew Davis
  Director: Mink
  Certificate:
  When a government official is killed, an American operative with experience in the Yakuza culture is brought into investigate.
  
  Rate this: 46% from 4,346 members

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