Halloween T(h)reats

With Saw V and Midnight Meat Train both currently thrilling cinema goers across the country, we started reminiscing about the best horror movie taglines ever. A tagline, as you probably know, is the one-liner that appears on an ad, a poster or a commercial that sums up the appeal of a movie. Once upon a time yours truly was involved in a film society and we dabbled in this art ourselves. I recall coming up with a tagline for James Whale’s black and white classic Bride Of Frankenstein (“Frankie Say Relax – Come See a Movie!”), which attracted about four punters. And another for a slasher flick called He Knows You’re Alone (from memory: “Cheap Sexist Horror Flick Without Redeeming Feature”), which almost sold out. Go figure. Some things are best left to the professionals, I guess, and for some reason horror often brings out the best – and the worst – in the Mad Men. Here are some of our favourites:

“The Night HE Came Home” (Halloween)

“It’s 22 Years Later, And Norman Bates Is Coming Home” (Psycho II)

“Man in the Warmest Place to Hide” (The Thing)

“In Space No One Can Hear You Scream” (Alien)

“Who Will Survive and What Will Be Left of Them?” (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

“Deliver Us Some Evil” (Seed Of Chucky)

“The Tenant in Room 7 is Very Small, Very Twisted and Very Mad” (Basket Case)

“There’s Only One Thing Wrong With the Davis Baby: It’s Alive” (It’s Alive)

“Trapped in Time, Surrounded by Evil, Low on Gas” (Army Of Darkness)

“Guess Whose Coming to Dinner” (Piranha II)

“Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Get Back in the Water… You Can’t Get To It” (Blood Beach)

“Heads Will Roll” (Sleepy Hollow)

“Herbert West Has a Very Good Head on his Shoulders. And Another One on His Desk.” (Re-Animator)

“Across Town, Traffic Is Murder” (Death Race 2000)

“She Stole His Heart. They Stole His Kidney. Now He Wants Them Back.” (The Harvest)

“Nothing Says ‘Date Movie’ Like a 3D Ride To Hell” (My Bloody Valentine 3D)

Tom Charity
tom.charity@lovefilm.com