Best & funniest unintentional comedy of 2013
, 21 Oct 2013
I have to confess to not having seen Green Street 2, but I did see the first Green Street movie when it was released on the cinema. It was jaw droppingly bad and inauthentic, hobbled by bad accents and a confused and miscast leading man Elijah Wood. Green Street 3 has a tiny advantage in that the lead actor is Scott Adkins who can actually half-convince as a fighter. He also has unrealised potential as a comedian as Green Street 3 is one of those rare films, a bad film that is actually so bad its funny. I watched it with my wife and a few friends and we were laughing all the way through it. Shame really because it wasnt designed to be funny at all.
Green Street 3 starts with Dannys (SCOTT ADKINS RE-KILL) brother getting himself killed in a meet between soccer firms. Dannys come to lead his old firm back to glory whilst finding out who did his bruvver. On his return he realises that the fights have gone underground and are now quite organised taking place off the street so that the police involvement is minimal. Also money can be made by running a league not unlike the actually players league. Danny has a hunch that his brothers killer is a firm leader so he trains his own firm up for the greatest showdown the fight league has ever seen.
Like a dopey spoof of Fight Club Green Street 3 revolve around a series of tournaments and endless scenes of our heroes down beers, singing at the top of their voices, slow motion fights and some hilarious montages in the gym. Mark Wingett (THE BILL) even pops up as a Burgess Meredith-Rocky style sea-dog trainer type in a Boston Strangler beanie. I half expected to see him sat cross legged sat on Scott Adkins back as he the latter does press-ups. Theres a great scene in which Danny calls for his fellow thugs for a jog in the morning the montage sees 1 jogger fade up to a team of 10 running in slow motion towards the camera. Poor Jack Doolan (MAY I KILL U?) continues his trawl of bad movies in search of a break as Gilly, the previous leader of Dannys firm. Elsewhere in the cast we have a saucy lady Molly the bar maid (KACEY BARNFIELD RESIDENT EVIL 4) whos been wheeled on as a supposed love interest. She gets to flash her loo loos at Danny and then is pretty much sidelined for the duration. Producer and fight choreographer, Joey Ansah (UFO) turns up as a policeman who used to be Dannys best pal. He has to prove that hes still got it by kicking a can of John Smiths off Dannys head in another piece of comic genius. The soundtrack is also to blame for the disproportionate levels of laughter aimed at Green Street 3. During the montages there is a lightweight cover version of Survivors Eye Of The Tiger and a mad synth rock tune called Pushing Back. So with about 7 montages to get through this is almost a musical by default what with all the football chants as well.
The cinematography betrays the fact that someone with a degree of talent was employed behind the scenes. Flood lit scenes and nicely lit night shots are prevalent and up the production value of the film exponentially but on the whole the shonky acting, non-existent script and the endless training scenes strand Green Street 3 in the cheap bins. Even the fight scenes are sub-par. And theres no excuse for this as the ultra-cheap Ten Dead Mens fight scenes proves you dont need money to feature excellent and well staged ones. Scott Adkins onscreen fight skills are usually more fluid and acrobatic than the ones on display here. Maybe that was the intention because Danny isnt a bounty hunter like his characters in The Expendables 2 or The Tournament for instance. Still, it was all clunky. Im recalling the fight scene where an extra charges across the screen (left to right) mid-fight with someone on his shoulders yelling! Very funny. Luckily Green Street 3 is punctuated with so many funny bits its actually a UK film Ill recommend on the basis that its very entertaining. It does end with one of the best Schwarzenegger-style pay off lines Ive heard in many year so for that alone it gets 1′ extra point.
5 out of 10 Diabolical, but so unintentionally funny you have to watch it with friends. The Hooligan Factory has got its work cut out if it wants to be the funniest film about Football hooligans to come out of the UK. Nice to see Scott Adkins in a UK film all the same.
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