Dogma

This is my favourite movie of all time. The script is a comedy genius by using modern day people and current situations to portray how all religions are man-made nonsense and that life is to be lived by free-will, not to be controlled by others and ultimately life is a gift to explore whatever you want. The film culminates by illuminating that there is just one source, and it’s a loving source. Just a fab movie and a must see. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon acting at their best.

Not terrible but it is terribly difficult to make a convincing mock movie about God. Monty Python did it of course, with stunning success. But this is no Life of Brian. With actors I like and a plausibly silly/ critical review of contemporary belief and ancient mysticism the film rather limps along. Not very funny and certainly not profound it has good moments but is far to flabby and self-conscious to be slick.

Not the worst time I have spent in a chair .. but far from being the best.

Woman has visitation, told to go to New Jersey to stop two angels entering heaven, help from stoner Profits and Apostle, what could go wrong?

Kevin Smith much talked about film which upset the Catholic Church despite him insisting it was pro-religion.

Lots of stars in this and Matt Damon and Ben Affleck come out of it well but others just sound like they’re reading the script for the first time and really lack conviction.

Quite a few laughs here and there with a lot of religious references that I probably missed out on but it’s far too self-aware that its tongue is in its cheek for me.

I quite like Kevin Smith the man but I’m not a massive fan of his film work.

Wasn't keen on seeing what I thought would be a load of god-bothering nonsense, I couldn't have been more wrong. It's the best laugh I've had in ages and it treats religion with the contempt it deserves. Absolutely fantastic.

This is quite possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen.

I actually had to watch it through to the end, just to prove this to myself. I mean, don't get me wrong... I've seen some truly sh*te films, but this takes the biscuit. This makes 'Hot Tub Time Machine' look like cinematic genius; or 'Jet' (that well known Kiefer Sutherland epic) look like it should have won Best Picture.

So I watched it through to the end. This is 130 minutes of my life that I will never, ever get back. In fact, make that 136: that's 1 minute to set the machine up, 2 minutes to forward through all the trailers and then 3 minutes at the end to sit there in stunned silence wondering if my television will ever be the same again.

Watching a film like this really, really destroys your faith in the film industry. To know that there are studios willing to devote camera time to this is something that just makes me sigh and shake my head in disbelief.

Oh, and this being a review, I guess I should actually review it rather than just hang my head in sympathetic shame for the crew who were made to work on this torrent of f*ckwittery. So here we go:

- wooden acting from all members of the cast. Mind you, if I was an actor on this film, I'd be bored sh*tless.

- no discernable storyline, just a vague running theme of religion through the film

- editors and compositors must have been drunk (actually, if I was working on this film, I'd have needed a bottle of Jack to get me going).

I absolutely implore you not to waste your time on this, quite possibly the worst ever film in the history of cinema.