Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask

Its an amusing film; in fact the word amusing doesn't do this film justice. Its a very funny film which explores the world of sex under seven different headings.

1. Do Aphrodisiacs Work?

The King has won the war and wants to be amused by his court jester, however it doesn't go very well for the CJ.

CJ :

'I know you're out there I can hear you breathing!'

'Save it up and let me hear it at the end, big!'

'I love the new exercises his majesty does to keep in shape, its called taxing peasants!'

'I can do impressions, Im one of the few people who can do an impression of the King of France, not his voice but his walk.'

He tries to chat up the King's wife in the castle grounds

He falls over to the camera :

'I feel on my bells!'

'Will she sleep with me, although she sleeps with the King and he wears leotards!'

He sees the Sorcerer for an aphrodisiac and the CJ and the Queen go to make love and she has a chastity belt!

'With most greavest dispatch I will open the latch and get to..'

'I always get my hand caught in the cookey jar so to speak.'

'Ay my lord remember you said if I was ever in town I should look up your wife.'

'Just clean up my neck a little and let my top flow.' - Gets beheaded.

2. What Is S&^*(y?

Gene Wilder a married doctor and sees Mr Stravous Arminous who with a sheep called Daisy. Daisy has fallen out of love with him.

Doug Ross, (played by Gene Wilder), the doctor falls in love with the sheep. He is caught by his wife fondling his lamb wool sweater. He takes Daisy to a hotel :

'Room service I'd like to have some white burgundy, cavarier and some plain grass.'

He is then shown having a cigarette in bed with Daisy.

'Darling is it my imagination or do you really smell of lambchops?!'

Eventually Dr Ross is caught in bed with Daisy and the sheep has got some sort of suspenders on! - 'I can explain we're just friends!'

'Its one of my patients she thinks she's a sheep!'

His medical licence is revoked and he gets a job as a waiter. - 'Don't call me waiter I'm a doctor!'

3. Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching An O&^%£'m?

Fabrizio the Italian cool looking Woody Allen, has just married an attractive young lady called Gina. He thinks that she was not keen so seeks advice from a mate.

The scene of Woody Allen performing foreplay on his wife is comical!

He asks the priest for advice and Woody and his wife end up making love in a designer shop!

They are later caught copulating under a restuarant table! - She feels the only way she can enjoy it so to speak is if she does it in public!

4. Are Transvestites Homosexuals?

At a dinner party a middle aged married man called Sam goes upstairs and gets into womens clothing. This is probably one of the weaker scenes in the film.

5. What Are S%x Perverts?

This is a quiz show : What is my pervision? - Panelists have to guess the contestant's pervision. - Then a rabbi gets tied up and whipped by a young lady while his wife eats pork at his feet!

6. Are The Findings Of Doctors And Clinics Who Do Sexual Research And Experiments Accurate?

Victor to Dr Barnardo : 'I don't know whether you have read my latest book, advanced sexual positions how do get there without laughing, but its getting be a classic!'

Woody Allen : 'You shoot this girl and I will sue you for male practice!'

It culminates in a gigantic t%t! Absolutely brilliant! - About a 4000 with an X cup! (It chases people!!)

Woody Allen cooks up a plan to get to it. - 'Don't worry I know how to handle t%ts!' ha ha

Victor : 'When it comes to sex there are some things that should be left unknown and with my luck they probably will be'

7. What Happens During Ejac&%$!ion?

Fetachini coming down into the stomach.

- There's a joke coming in, pls smile

'God damn it or pressed the scared expression!'

Can we please have an erec*ion, what the hell is going on down there?!'

'Its not use we're losing it, start preparing an alibi to save face!'

'Attention G%nads, we're going for record.'