Long Time Dead Details

Call it Witchboard 7 or Wishmaster 5, just don't call director Marcus Adams's feature debut anything original. Everything about this south London-set Scream — featuring college students summoning up an ancient fire demon during a Ouija board session — is obvious, third-hand and bogus. Any hopes that the British horror genre would be revived are dashed once the dialogue rakes over old chestnuts such as “We must stick together”, swiftly followed by the characters doing the exact opposite. Former EastEnders pin-up Joe Absolom and obligatory American “name” Lukas Haas — he was the little Amish boy in Witness — add little to this supernatural tosh, which is further marred by a vague denouement and some sloppy editing. Only those who haven't seen a horror film in the past twenty years will get a kick from Long Time Dead — a great title that will prove sadly prophetic for its future.

Risible 'teen slasher movie, in which uninteresting people are killed by a forgettable monster.