Dumb and Dumber 3: Loopy and Loopier
, 26 Oct 2012
After Brick and the excellent Brothers Bloom, Johnson's 3rd film is a colossal turkey.
And why is it so bad? Well, it concerns time travel (which even rocket scientists accept is impossible - although you don't need to be a physicist to realize that, you just need some common sense), it has a plot full of holes, it makes no logical sense (which in turn makes it completely unbelievable), and it has some utterly ridiculous scenes. Think of Back To The Future, and Marty McFly's hand disappearing (!) and people vanishing from photographs. As daft as that was, at least the writers were smart enough to make the whole thing rather tongue in cheek & not take itself seriously, and that's what made those films entertaining. The very same logic - or lack of it - forms a major part of this story but it doesn't work precisely because this movie DOES take itself very seriously.
In the future, when criminal organisations want people disposed of they send them 30 years back in time where they are immediately shot by assassins called 'loopers' who get paid in silver bars strapped to their victims. The trouble is after 30 years service the loopers themselves are sent back in time to be killed by their younger selves, something which, incredibly, the loopers agree to. Bearing in mind most of the loopers are in their mid 20s, they are - this silly tale would have us believe - quite happy to be murdered in their 50s by themselves(!) Really? I don't think so. These loopers must be so stupid. Incidentally just a thought but why aren't they killed immediately before being sent back in time? Presumably because that didn't occur to Johnson or, more probably, he couldn't think of a reasonable explanation. Duh!
A middle aged looper, Joe (Bruce Willis), is sent back but escapes death from his younger self (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). This is a good piece of casting as JG-L does actually look quite like a younger version of Willis, partly because he appears to have a prosthetic or CGI air-brushed nose to match Willis's. Young Joe hunts down his 55 year old self and we are then faced with the ridiculous spectacle of JG-L scarring a message on his own arm and then the scar magically & suddenly appears on Willis's arm! This is almost, but not quite, as silly as that famous scene in Timecop when one character makes contact with his other self. And just another thought but why doesn't young Joe simply WRITE a message on the back of his hand instead of painfully scarring himself? I told you these loopers are stupid. Duh! (again).
There is even an almighty storyline cop-out when, in one scene, young Joe and older Joe meet and talk; young Joe asks his future self 'Do you know what I'm going to do next? Haven't you done all this already?' And older Joe mumbles something about alternate futures (and, by implication, pasts) and parts of his memories fading (just like Marty McFly's hand). There is a sub-plot which involves attempting to change the future by killing a young boy who may be destined to be a crime boss when he grows up. Seen it all before? Yep - same as The Terminator. Nothing original there then. The ending is silly - think of the proverbial time travel 'grandfather paradox'.
Jeff Daniels is also in the film and that's a huge mistake because seeing him makes me think it might have been so much better as a madcap comedy. If they had reunited Daniels with Jim Carrey, instead we could have had 'Dumb And Dumber 3: Loopy And Loopier'. That would have worked.
Nobody can go back into the past and erase someone from history. I, and whoever reads this, exist. You and I cannot un-exist. It's absurd to think so and that is why this story is nonsensical.
Format: Cinema - digital
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