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Mean Machine Reviews

2001

60
from 6455 members

In this remake of THE LONGEST YARD, Robert Aldrich's 1974 Burt Reynolds prison tale concerning inmates who organize themselves into a football team and compete against the guards, British director Barry Skolnick pulls together a ruthlessly funny cast and changes the resident sport to soccer. The leader of the prisoners, played .. Read more

Starring	Vinnie Jones, David Hemmings, David Kelly, Vas Blackwood
Director	Barry Skolnick
Genres	Action/Adventure

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Critic's review of Mean Machine
View all critics' reviews (2)
- Unsuccessful attempt to make a star of a former footballer of limited acting ability, who was notorious for his tough-guy attitude on the field; the threadbare, hand-me-down script doesn't help.
- 31742
- - Halliwell's Film Guide
  - 02 Mar 2006 at 15:42
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Most helpful member's review of Mean Machine
View all members' reviews (31)
- - 7
  - 2
  Ouch
  
  Watching this film was actually painfull. I had already seen the original and liked it, so I watched this one with an open mind (remakes being remakes). This ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 10582
- [Highly rated reviewer]
  - a customer
  - Edinburgh
  - 15 Jul 2004 at 02:23
Most recent members' reviews of Mean Machine
View all members' reviews (31)
- - 0
  - 0
  Vinny Jones is Vinny Jones
  
  English remake of the 1970's Burt Reynolds American football romp.
  
  Former England captain, off the rails, gets arrested for drink driving, ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 919816
- - Bassman71
  - 423 reviews
  - Didsbury, England
  - 01 Sep 2010 at 12:55
- - 0
  - 1
  THIS FILM IS SOOOOOO GOOD
  
  ONE OF THE BEST FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN.!!!
  
  Report this review
- 854692
- - craigbrunt
  - 1 review
  - burton on trent
  - 28 Jan 2010 at 18:29
- - 0
  - 0
  good
  
  my son and hubby enjoyed it as they like this type of film
  
  Report this review
- 739676
- - a customer
  - Middlesbrough
  - 07 Apr 2009 at 20:24
- - 0
  - 0
  Mean
  
  mean machine is quite possibly the best lad film ever, let me explain
  
  Statham
  
  Vinnie Jones
  
  Football
  
  Abusing ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 662398
- - a customer
  - Evesham
  - 21 Nov 2008 at 14:55
- - 0
  - 0
  NICE
  
  i watched the longest yard and apparntly this was the original. Well its so good. Proper english this is and i was proud to be english. Vinny is made for this ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 611601
- [Highly rated reviewer]
  - KingWalshington
  - 218 reviews
  - Brixham, Swindon
  - 10 Aug 2008 at 23:13
- - 0
  - 0
  Mean Machine
  
  Good auld Vinnie Jones, get intae them
  
  Report this review
- 609683
- - dumbartonhun
  - 2 reviews
  - Isle of Bute
  - 07 Aug 2008 at 08:55
- - 0
  - 0
  Missable
  
  Not a terrible attempt at recreating an English version of The Longest Yard. But, remakes are always a bit feeble and unnecessary compared to a good original. ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 491144
- - a customer
  - Home Counties
  - 04 Nov 2007 at 15:40
- - 0
  - 0
  fan-tastic
  
  now I don't watch football as it bores me but if it was like this well the film was great from front to back and vinny even cracks a smile not to mention ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 446272
- - a customer
  - Exeter
  - 03 Jun 2007 at 12:41
- - 0
  - 0
  pig's ear
  
  this is probably one of the worst remakes I've ever had the misfortune of watching, yes the acting is poor and yes the script is lame but what really ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 436965
- - a customer
  - london
  - 05 May 2007 at 22:40
- - 1
  - 1
  Not Bad
  
  Thought it was ok. Some really good funny bits. If you like football you'll love it, if you're like me and don't care much about sport then it's... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 434993
- - a customer
  - manchester
  - 29 Apr 2007 at 18:15
View all members' reviews (31)

- - 7
  - 2
  Ouch
  
  Watching this film was actually painfull. I had already seen the original and liked it, so I watched this one with an open mind (remakes being remakes). This ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 10582
- [Highly rated reviewer]
  - a customer
  - Edinburgh
  - 15 Jul 2004 at 02:23
- - 2
  - 0
  OK
  
  STARTS OF SLOW BUT WHEN MATCH FININAL GETS ON ITS WAY QUITE FUNNY
  
  Report this review
- 138161
- - craig
  - HARLOW
  - 09 Aug 2005 at 15:00
- - 1
  - 0
  Its like Bedknobs and broomsticks
  
  Like the disney film you will only remember the film for the football match it contains.
  
  I bet Vinny really wishes he played that well during his ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 21362
- - macoxy
  - 48 reviews
  - wakefield
  - 11 Oct 2004 at 13:42
- - 0
  - 0
  Loved the orriginal ...
  
  Loved the orriginal but this just a fair copy. Not Vinny's best but OK for entertainment
  
  Report this review
- 25852
- - bagpuss#1
  - NEWTON AYCLIFFE
  - 25 Nov 2003 at 22:27
- - 0
  - 0
  great film that looks ...
  
  great film that looks like a between snatch vs the full monty with football instead of stripping
  
  good movie and better than the american football ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 47432
- - a customer
  - BIRMINGHAM
  - 21 Sep 2004 at 02:43
- - 0
  - 0
  Brilliant!!
  
  Vinnie Jones is brilliant, great film, highly recommend it!
  
  Report this review
- 72676
- - a customer
  - Belfast
  - 15 Feb 2005 at 14:14
- - 0
  - 0
  Vinnie at his best
  
  This role was almost made for Vinnie Jones - a hard man in the football game. This takes him back to his former playing days with 'The Crazy Gang' at ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 103751
- - a customer
  - Kent
  - 16 May 2005 at 13:28
- - 0
  - 0
  Oh no
  
  I had such high hopes for this film and couldn't wait to watch it. Unfortunatley it failed to hit the mark and had me asleep half way through. (maybe I ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 113151
- - a customer
  - Southport
  - 11 Jun 2005 at 11:16
- - 0
  - 0
  GIRLS DON'T BOTHER
  
  It was a good film for my boyfriend, but i much prefered the newer american version with Adam Sandler in it - far more light hearted than this 'how much ... read more »
  
  Report this review
- 177668
- - a customer
  - Surrey, England
  - 23 Nov 2005 at 19:29
- - 0
  - 0
  brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  just for the commentary on the game.rest of film is good also
  
  Report this review
- 242802
- - andrew harding
  - chesterfield
  - 10 May 2006 at 20:05

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Buy from Amazon.co.uk

- - Buy
- Mean Machine
  
  In this remake of THE LONGEST YARD, Robert Aldrich's 1974 Burt Reynolds prison tale concerning inmates who organize themselves into a football team and compete against the guards, British director Barry Skolnick pulls together a ruthlessly funny cast and changes the resident sport to soccer. The ...