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[Highly rated reviewer]
people will hate me for giving this film 4 stars... but i have my reasons...read
Hello.
Now let me begin, many years ago some people put a lot of money into an idea. They paid top dollar for the decent script, got some well known and some aspiring actors in, and spent a fortune on special effects. This master piece was to be call 'STARSHIP TROOPERS'
For me, I worship that film, its classic old school propaganda war slant from the Nazi era. The story is very entertaining because it all connects really well. The slight comedy thrown in for good measure. Good performances... I could go on but then I’d be reviewing the wrong film!
Anyway, after that movie, you felt it needed a sequel and it must have a sequel. But nothing happened. Then a few years back suddenly... straight to video 'STARSHIP TROOPERS 2”.... we all scream YAY...... but why straight to video and why have I never heard of this sequel before now, surly they should of hyped it if the first one is anything to go by........ NAY ----- IT WAS ABSOLUTE BS. An awful film cooked up to earn a few quid on the coat tails of a great movie. Worse than that it had basically nothing to do with the first on apart from the name, this time some low par special effects and some small plastic bug puppets. I WAS FURIOUS. I actually rented that copy from my local video store; I destroyed the film and paid the fine just so I could save another troopers fan from the horror and heartbreak.
So that was it, I was sure that number 2 (see what I did there with number 2 in reference to the film, think about it) had surly killed the franchise. Obviously no one wanted to put any money into the film, that’s why it was shot in someone’s attic with only 2 cameras.
Then the other day while updating my rental list what do I come to see..... O yes 'STARSHIP TROOPERS 3'.... dare I rent it out after the last abomination?????
I did, and here is my review (few you all say, stop rambling and get to the blinking film).
I will start by repeating that I am a TROOPERS FANBOY, however very concerned that there was no mention of a 3rd movie in any mag/internet site or advert anywhere to be found. So we can only assume it was another straight to video movie... not a good sign.
However it dose start in a familiar Nazi era, propaganda way so I’m thinking, alright. Also the tongue in cheek humor gives us a giggle straight away. Things were looking up.
Then the roof caved in, you start spotting the almost B-movie flaws... namely the script is terrible... my 3 year old could do better, and that’s NOT a joke. Also Rico (played by the actor who played him in the first one, so you'd think it would work) seems to have taken lessons in how Not to act, lessons in how to be wood, a tree. You also start to realize that the first 20mins or so are all shot in a room the size of my house. Its crazy bad. A few middle of the road effect, mainly showing the same bug getting fried about 5 times. I start to lose hope, then the bugs attack.... woohoo........ more like boohoo because it dose turn into a B-horror movie. not since 'bad taste' and 'braindead' (and I’m being very generous because they did a better job of heads rolling round and arms falling off) has there been a more pointless crew behind the scenes throwing body parts past the camera to simulate someone getting killed by a bug. I'm talking someone filming a wall, someone else literally throwing a bucket of red paint on it!!!!!! It’s breathtakingly awful. And top put the cherry on top, by this time you have worked out the fricking story...... Not good.
But like I said, I’m a trooper, so when my girlfriend went to wash up in disgust I valiantly soldiered on. I started to fine the whole thing vaguely amusing, and began to laugh at the amount of crap things about the film. Like the Singing Sky Marshall WTF!!!! and I also realized another reason why it went straight to video. In this war troubled time I think there might have been a lot of people offended by some of the issue being raised; however futuristic and old style it was meant to be if you catch my drift.
Anyway... they get off the first planet into a spaceship, chance to change the set... and now it turns into the corridors of star-trek, filming in my house I swear. The acting is still hammy/spammy and crap however the little pot holes of humor keep popping up, that are making me laugh, and also the story develops in the background.
Interesting.
The washing up is finished and my girlfriend joins me again, wanting me to turn it off, but I manage to persuade her that it’s getting better. It really was getting better. A set Change again and there on a beach.... in Felixstowe I think, I can see actual beach huts. The movie starts to plod along while all the time making subtle reminders of the first film and why I liked it. It develops the STARSHIP TROOPERS world a lot more while the main film is committing one of the worst pieces of editing I have ever EVER WITNESSED...... even worse than in PREDATOR and that bloke has his arm shot off, but when they do the slow motion playing of him shooting armless you can clearly see his arm removed from his sleeve, trying to tuck it behind him. Classic. (Carl something the actors name was, played Apollo in rocky)
Right-- this has been tagged as a spoiler review- so I have no problem pointing this out, also because my misses didn't even see what happened and I had to rewind and show her....
6 people land in the desert......... off they walk with some bugs about. At night one of them, the doctor get's got. He's dead. How many are left... 5. Next day off they walk, all 5 of them, que roaming through dessert monologue... cut to scene on top of a dune... how many people can we see...... 6!!!!! WTF, cut to another scene when you can see the peoples faces, how many are there 5...... I think that’s just editing at its best. Do it while your drunken mate; you can't spoil a bad film. Well it didn't because I think it made me like the film even more, also the fact I got one over my misses helped.
So, the plot plays it’s self out, and there are some really interesting twists and turns there, the best being that Brain bug from the first one..... We wondered where that little bugger had got to, and he's not the one there looking for either...... twisty.
So then I’m hooked. The ending happens how you think it might, RICO saved the day, and did I forget to mention they flash some rack as well.......
The end. now I know I have written way over the limit so I will post this as 2 or even 3, hope I don't get in trouble but it took me ages to write, and you a long time to read. Sorry.
4 stars because if this movie would of had the money of the first one, they could of paid someone good to write the script, hired some great actors, and ILM to do the effects, this movie could of been huge.
Could of been. But it dose deserve a good review, so someone will have to write one, till then you have got mine and about 10 other people slating it. Choose who to believe. Are you a trooper???
Roll on number 4, and put some money into it for gods sakes!!!!
mookstar*
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