No...no...no...NO!

Hmmm.....where to start. Another 'retelling' that borrows heavily from the original (excellent) Alan Clarke directed film. The character of Bex, superbly played by Gary Oldman in the original was ably portrayed by Paul Anderson this time around. The 80's soundtrack also added to the feel of the movie with a good, if predictable, choice of tracks.

Unfortunately that's the sum of the good points in the film. The bad points faaaar outweigh these. The film is set in 1984 and with a lot of attention to detail spent to recreate the era with regard to clothes, hairstyles and general background props. Unfortunately, despite being accurate, it was all too sterile and clean - everyone is wearing authentic(ish) casual clothing from the time (Fila BJ, Ellesse, Sergio Tacchinni) but it is blatantly straight off the hanger and as such looks more like a weird fashion parade than 'real life'. Even the 'motors' are all glistening and showroom tidy. I grew up in the 80's and life was NOT like this - especially in East London where the film is set!

Although distracting though this could be forgiven if the acting managed to take your attention away from it. But on the whole it fails to deliver. The casting is pretty poor - the role of Yeti played by a psychotic albino (Phil Davis) in the original is portrayed by what can only be described as a cabbage patch doll lookalike of Pete Docherty! He has no air of menace about him and looks like he would struggle to fight a cold - let alone be the 'main man' of a rival firm...

The fight scenes are also disappointing. The shaky camera work intended to make the viewer feel they are a part of the action just succeeds in making you feel a bit motion sick. The fights are very few and far between also, the first appearing over 40 minutes in. And even then they are unrealistic - trust me, if you are being beaten around the head with a baseball bat and claw hammer as in one scene, you would NOT be getting up anytime soon to go and lick your wounds with a nice pint back in your own 'boozer'!!

To be honest though, The Firm is just another in a long line of ultimately disappointing films of this genre (see Green Street, Awaydays etc) and although Nick Love is capable of making a decent lads film once in a while (The Business) this is a dog and perhaps he needs to try his hand at another style before he ends up going down the Guy Ritchie route of being a one trick pony.

On a final note, and I realise this may court controversy, there is more than a fair hint of homo-eroticism in this film in the way that the character of Dominic (Calum McNab) develops an infatuation with Bex. Very reminiscent of Awaydays it seems that it is no longer possible to portray ayoung lad looking up to an older man as a role model (albeit it not a very good one in a football hooligan) without it coming across as mildly sexual in nature. This is even commented on in a scene in the film by the character Trigger mocking Dominic for wearing the same tracksuit as Bex.

In summary then the film fails to deliver on many levels - the original showing how ordinary family men holding down decent respectable jobs were lured into the shady world of football violence for a thrill they didn't get in the 9-5 grind. In this version only Bex appears to have a job, with Dominic working from time to time helping his dad out. all other characters spent their days drinking and shoplifting in JD Sports...just like the stereotypical hooligan most people outside of that world have in their minds. Bex is not a 'leader' like in the original, he is just a numbskull who only appears to be in charge because the character of Trigger doesn't appear to be bothered to do the job. Personally I wouldn't follow Bex down to the shops, let alone into a ruck with a firm from Millwall!

Grab the original instead and you will also be rewarded with a debut performance from Steve 'Phil Mitchell' McFadden and Charlie 'Jim McDonald' Lawson...