Fiona Morrow, our eyes and ears from across the pond, gives us the low-down on the latest news and gossip from the world of US television...
What is it with celebrities and cars? There’s Desperate Housewives’ Teri Hatcher minding her own business, stretching out in her limo on the way to yet another awards show when – calamity! A sharp touch of the brakes and that once celebratory glass of champagne has become the evil chemical turning her Vera Wang confection from pink to maroon. “A nightmare scenario,” in Ms Hatcher’s own words.
Well, Teri, it’s a shame, for sure, but it’s not quite on the level of Joaquin Phoenix’s brush with the other side of the tracks when his brakes failed near Laurel Canyon, causing him to swerve and the car to flip over. More alarming than news of the Walk the Line Oscar-nominee's crash, was his state of mind on finding German director Werner Herzog peering through the window, asking if he was OK.
“There's something so calming and beautiful about Werner Herzog's voice,” mused Phoenix. “I felt completely fine and safe. I climbed out."
Hmm. One has to ask: has he seen Herzog's oeuvre? Fitzcarraldo, Grizzly Man, Little Dieter Has To Fly, My Best Fiend – genius though he is, I’m not sure I wouldn’t trust Herzog not to make me flip the car over again just so he could get me on camera reliving the pain.
But if the streets of LA are fraught with danger, consider the poor cast of Lost, holed up on Hawaii, with nothing better to do with their downtime than surf and watch the sun go down with an ice cold beverage in hand. What’s a person to do with so much laid back natural beauty to behold except rocket through it in a fancy sports car?
Oh yes, the tally of traffic infractions reported in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin is reaching legendary proportions: creators JJ Abrams and Lindelhof may have to kill some characters off simply to save their cast from the clink.
Perhaps that was the motivation for dropping Boone off the side of a cliff: Ian Somerhalder was pulled over for allegedly going 74mph in a 45mph zone. Still, a similar incident with Josh Holloway pulled over for going 53mph in a 35mph zone doesn’t seem to have affected Sawyer’s longevity.
There are two British cast members with two strikes currently against them: Naveen Andrews has been cited for speeding twice, as has Dominic Monaghan, who also faced allegations of driving without a license.
But leave it to the ladies to hit the home run: new cast members Cynthia Watros and Michelle Rodriguez were both picked up for drunk driving on the same night 15 minutes apart. Rodriguez's troubles started long before, with speeding, drinking under the influence and a hit and run already to her name. Now it’s both actresses driving licenses that are well and truly lost.
Still, Hawaii’s lawmakers haven’t completely given up on the cast of the show that’s bringing their islands plenty of attention (and doing wonders for house rental rates): British actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje was invited to read the 23rd Psalm before the State Senate last month, after one of the Senators was so moved by his performance (in the show, not in the witness box).