Valentine on DVD (2001)

Annie#12 from IBSTOCK , 13/07/2004

David Boreanaz in something other than Angel got me ever so excited, but unfortunately, this film didn't really. He seemed a bit out of place, and Denise Richards was downright awful, though I did like Jessica Capshaw as Dorothy.<br>Valentine is OK as far as the teen slasher type thing goes and actually has a fairly decent plot, in that it makes sense! And it managed to keep me guessing on the is-he-or-is-he-not-the-killer thing, until towards the end when there is a fairly subtle and very clever clue - watch out for it and you'll see what I mean!<br>It seemed to me after waching the directors commentary, what could have been one of the most important scenes was actually cut - it told the identity of the killer (though late enough in the film so as not to spoil it) and, more importantly, explained the events of the last few scenes as, not watching too closely at one point, something quite major did confuse me until I watched that bit again. But, then those actually sitting watching properly might have a bit more about them than I did and realise what was going on...<br>All in all, a fair film, worth a watch with the lights off.

  3 out of 3 people found this review helpful

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HyperMediocrity from Bristol [Highly rated reviewer] , 03/04/2007

Director Jamie Blanks once again proves that he hasn't got an original bone in his body with the terminally mediocre Valentine, in which a group of unfeasably good looking school friends get stalked on the run up to Valentine's day by a person that may or may not be the geek they all picked on in high school.

The 'acting' is laughable with each of the group sounding as if they are reading their lines direct from the script, with no convincing interaction throughout. (Denise Richards is the chief offender here, proving that Wild Things was, indeed, the limits of her acting 'talents') David Boreanaz escapes with more dignity as recovering alcoholic Adam, but only just. The remaining characters are so annoying you long for the psychotic cherub to turn up and hack the hell out of them.

When the violence does get going Valentine is a suprisingly bloodless affair. The majority of the deaths either appear off screen or are cut so quickly you don't really get a feel for what's going on (save for a gleefully violent death involving a neck, a boot, and some sharp shards of glass(for which I will add another star). Blanks is clearly a director of the Post-Modern Scream-esque cannon of directors, who think that if they are too graphic then the audience will be disturbed (but then, surely that's the point?)

Valentine is also guilty of a Horror movie's worst sin: it's just not scary. In place of genuine shocks are a collection of worn out cliches and obvious musical stings that scream 'JUMP HERE!' You've seen everything here before; a slew of possible candidates, groups that decide to split up even when they know a killer is stalking them, a killer you think has passed you by but clearly hasn't, etc.

However, it's not the cliches that sting the most, it's the distinct lack of passion in which they are delivered. Instead of a suspensful stalk and slash picture, we are given a tepid, by the numbers genre pic, with a horrendous final 'twist' that, as well as being pointless is glaringly obvious to anyone with half a braincell.

Obviously not the director then....

  2 out of 2 people found this review helpful

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Rhys Davies from Leicester, England , 21/03/2004

As a big fan of slasher movies i give them all a try - but this is a pretty poor example.

Valentine is more old school, Halloween than self-referential, post-modern Scream. A masked killer stalks various teens for, we are led to believe, revenge on humiliations heaped upon the school geek.

The fairly imaginative death scenes are a slight plus but really this is not up to scratch. For a slasher like this to work both the deaths have to be gruesome and the killer distinctive.

Sending Valentines cards before you kill someone ? Somehow i don't think Jason Voorhees would bother.

  2 out of 3 people found this review helpful

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Janine#5 from CHEADLE , 02/05/2004

I expected this to be yet another predictable teen slasher movie and not very original but I was thankfully wrong. Not quite as good as the Scream movies but this certainly made ME scream a few times and hide behind the cushion. If you're looking for a modern slasher movie with a bit of a difference then I would definitely recommend this.

  1 out of 1 person found this review helpful

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Rhys Davies from Leicester, England , 21/03/2004

As a big fan of slasher movies i give them all a try - but this is a pretty poor example.

Valentine is more old school, Halloween than self-referential, post-modern Scream. A masked killer stalks various teens for, we are led to believe, revenge on humiliations heaped upon the school geek.

The fairly imaginative death scenes are a slight plus but really this is not up to scratch. For a slasher like this to work both the deaths have to be gruesome and the killer distinctive.

Sending Valentines cards before you kill someone ? Somehow i don't think Jason Voorhees would bother.

  2 out of 3 people found this review helpful

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Annie#12 from IBSTOCK , 13/07/2004

David Boreanaz in something other than Angel got me ever so excited, but unfortunately, this film didn't really. He seemed a bit out of place, and Denise Richards was downright awful, though I did like Jessica Capshaw as Dorothy.<br>Valentine is OK as far as the teen slasher type thing goes and actually has a fairly decent plot, in that it makes sense! And it managed to keep me guessing on the is-he-or-is-he-not-the-killer thing, until towards the end when there is a fairly subtle and very clever clue - watch out for it and you'll see what I mean!<br>It seemed to me after waching the directors commentary, what could have been one of the most important scenes was actually cut - it told the identity of the killer (though late enough in the film so as not to spoil it) and, more importantly, explained the events of the last few scenes as, not watching too closely at one point, something quite major did confuse me until I watched that bit again. But, then those actually sitting watching properly might have a bit more about them than I did and realise what was going on...<br>All in all, a fair film, worth a watch with the lights off.

  3 out of 3 people found this review helpful

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